But if I never write, I'll never write. Common sense, people.
I never feel like writing because I know the task ahead of my and I know it is long and time consuming. I have a lot to explain and I'd rather explain it out loud because then it seems to go faster because it's a conversation. But anyway, here goes.
So I've been here for a week and a half, or, 11 days. That's a very tiny number. Ew. I shouldn't have converted it into days. Kay, what I like better is I am in week TWO. Two of 16. Okay that sounds so much better! I have exactly one week until Naomi comes to visit, and once she leaves, exactly 5 weeks until Spring break, and 6 weeks after Spring break, and then I get to go home. Yes. I'm already thinking about going home. I like home. Home is the west coast, the bay area. Home is better than New York because that's where I grew up, that's where I have my best friends and my family, it's familiar. and all that jazz. Also. It doesn't FREEZE like me right now as a popsicle.
But anyway, New York isn't all bad. And I must have wanted to come here for a reason, right? Right. And I did. And now I'm here and I see that it is fine but not wonderful and that's fine but after this round I want to try a new place. I don't imagine that I wont stick it out for the 4 years, but I can't imagine sticking around after that.
Also. I have a hard time with new things. I said that in the last entry right? I discovered that my greatest fear is of new things in all shapes and sizes. Maybe that's linked to a fear of failure, because they always say everyone's greatest fear is failure (or maybe they don't, but I'm allowed to make things up, this is MY blog, after all). Like I said. Fear of new things. A fear of doing them imperfectly because I don't know how to do them. Or sometimes, just a fear of getting lost because I don't know where I'm going. So. When I first get to a new thing, like a new semester, it sucks. Why? Because it's a million new things all at once. But it's not like when I came to New York. I wasn't scared of New York or coming here. It's a strange distinction. I was scared of the subway and of making new friends and of crazy projects in new classes. But not of New York. You following? It's okay if you're not. So anyway, I am in a new semester. At the new part of that new semester. Right? So. Scary.
Basically I just need to re-settle in ever time. Especially since my break was so wonderful. And it was a whole month long. So I got used to it, being comfortable and relaxed and having no obligations. (It also went by really quickly but that's a whole other story. I actually got back here the first night and found myself in Tudor's room sitting on the same chair facing him sitting on the same chair in the same way at night just like we'd been the night before we both left. It was some crazy real dejavu, and it felt like I never left. But anyway.) So, this week I am more settled. That's why I didn't really want to write last week because I was kinda freaking out. I was scared of my new teacher and classes and, as always, the sheer number of classes, and of having three early mornings in a row (last semester I had 3 early mornings total, alternating, this year I have 4 total. Last year too, I had 3 total. I need my sleep, I really do, or I'm a mess. Over break I got beautiful amounts of sleep. As much as my heart desired!) Of course this simply means I have to get to bed sooner, but what if I can't? Yada yada...
So there was no true recognition of this semester yet, I really couldn't accurately asses what is going on because I know my judgment is not accurate when it is feeling the new. Logically, I know how it should be, but intuitively, I think AHHHHHHHHH (to use technical terms).
Now. The second week doesn't quite asses it entirely accurately either, but it does a much better job. And the second week is saying, "whew, okay. Not so bad." So that's where I'm at. This week is telling me that this semester is going to go much more smoothly than I of course thought the firt week. And no one is surprised that this is the analysis. Yet, I still don't think I can give a full description of how I think it will really go until the third week. Which I plan on doing.
However. I will give you what I know.
3-D is now all day on Mondays. I like this better because it gets it over with, but I also still find 3-D to be very bland and a very long waste of a day. I did, however, have this past Monday off, which was wonderful. I have the same teacher, so it's the same deal. Easy and he's nice and he likes me. I'll get through it. I almost shouldn't bother mentioning anymore because it actually serves no purpose in my life to the good side or the bad. It just kind of is. It fills some time. Unfortunately.
World Civ. is the same teacher but now Tuesday mornings. This is fine, but also sleepy. Actually, my description of 3-D pretty much fits this class too, except that it is a lecture, so I have the added trouble of staying awake.
Political Philosophy. Now here's something exciting! I have this class Tuesday afternoons. That is a lot of sitting on m ass and taking notes and not falling asleep for one day. Which is why going to be earlier is key. But my teacher seems fantastic! I was worried about not understanding, because the readings are really tough, but he is so clear and so good about explaining that I understand everything, and it's a lot he's throwing at us! I'm really excited to have a philosophy course and he seems really knowledgeable and I heard he was a good teacher and I'm just really excited to learn and for a challenge! Finally. I've been missing those liberal arts challenges... So our whole grade is based upon 3 essays. The first is 5 pages, the second is 7, the last is 10. Approximately. It'll be great to be able to have room to write so much, and to learn to write longer essays. I kill at 5 pages. Not so hot on 2 because that is NOT enough room, but I still get A's. But I haven't really tried a 10, let alone on philosophy! And we have readings every week that really don't make much sense and I'm really excited about it! Haha, no I'm not being sarcastic :)
Color Photo. This class is now Wednesday morning. I was scared of my teacher, but after today I;m less scared. She seems like she has a lot to teach. We have a lot of work to do and new work due every week, but she's going to push us to keep at it. And hey, I am a photo major right? I can't complain about a lot of photo work. Plus this is the semester to really get my color work down. Last semester was just learning, yeah? And the class dynamic seems good. The people in the class seem to all be fine so far. I do need to start thinking about what my project is going to be though, because I refuse to do nature photography of dead trees. I forgot that it's winter here. So no landscapes at least until spring starts to come. But that might be a good thing because then I can force myself to do something new that I haven't done before. It'll be good, I just have to think of what. And our first assignment was interesting because we had to do a test, either between film or paper. I did mine between two different kinds of kodak paper, and I actually found out that I like one more than the other and originally I thought the other one was the one I should get. Now I know if I want my pictures a certain way, I have a choice. And other people's projects were very informative too. Everyone learned from all of them. That was the point.
Studio Photo. This class is Wednesday afternoon. (Can you see how I might be exhausted by Wednesday?) We wont have an actually assignment for another 2 weeks, but she is showing us SO MUCH about studio photography it is incredible! Because I know none of it and she knows so much and it's just wonderful! I am going to learn go much from this class and I'm really excited to get into portraits and still lives, something I haven't been able to explore yet! I was nervous about being able to handle the class, like with color, but I think she's so good at teaching that I'll know exactly what to do and I'll be just fine :)
Yoga. Same time same teacher. Except that I'm not technically signed up for the class. I Hope to be, but otherwise I think she'll let me stay on anyways. I would like the credit, however. But I love yoga and I love my teacher!
Thursdays. My day off. WHEW. This day is intended for taking pictures. Going out and getting it done so that I don't have to worry about it on the weekend and just be able to print. This will change when I have to shoot for studio as well. And this week it is different because me and Susanna usually go out together, but she can't tomorrow so we'll go Saturday instead. It may also change due to my decision on a project, it may not ebing gong out, it may be renting a studio at school. Whatever it is. I will be SLEEPING IN.
Art History. Same teacher, earlier time. Different class though because it's modern art history, aka 1900s onward. And in my particular opinion, blech (this is also a technical term.) Of course I need to know it and of course I want to know it, but I really think it's crap. Really. I think what a lot of the artists were trying to do, their ideas and such, were brilliant ideas and innovations! But what they actually created? It horrible to look at! And I'm sorry, but first and fore most, I need to want to look at it. THEN I can delve into it's deeper meaning. So we'll see how it goes. I doubt I'll do the reading... though I know I should... My teacher's still a sweet old man though! Yay :)
Advanced Black and White Printing is on Friday afternoons. Yup, I got a freakin full week. My teacher seems really cool, though I've only had him for one class so far. He's the only black faculty I've seen, which is simply an interesting thing. Of course, besides the point. He seems very knowledgeable and like a pretty decent teacher and guy. I am SO EXCITED for this class because I really do like black and white better than color. Maybe I just need more practice with color, and maybe I just have different styles for the two and I haven't found my "color style" yet, but still. I prefer printing black and white and the outcome of my pictures. So this class is going to be all about darkroom techniques! Different chemistry, tricks, how to make negatives better, prints better, EVERYTHING! (Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it!) We will be making extra super awesome perfect prints. Period. We don't have to shoot anything, it's a printing class! What a relief. Because shooting for three classes last year was really hard! So this semester I only have two to shoot for. It's a great class to end the week with.
So my week starts intense, but ends more smoothly, which is good. I still have JSU on Tuesday at lunch which I will still be baking for (yay!) and I still will be going to Friday night dinners! No more yoga on Saturday mornings, that was just annoying and yoga is supposed to be relaxing. I dunno what's up with SDS. I will tell you when I know.
But anyway. So there's the first installment. I still need to write about friends, food and exercise, and probably some other random things. But I have to get to Yoga!
hope you enjoyed. Toodles!
So I've been here for a week and a half, or, 11 days. That's a very tiny number. Ew. I shouldn't have converted it into days. Kay, what I like better is I am in week TWO. Two of 16. Okay that sounds so much better! I have exactly one week until Naomi comes to visit, and once she leaves, exactly 5 weeks until Spring break, and 6 weeks after Spring break, and then I get to go home. Yes. I'm already thinking about going home. I like home. Home is the west coast, the bay area. Home is better than New York because that's where I grew up, that's where I have my best friends and my family, it's familiar. and all that jazz. Also. It doesn't FREEZE like me right now as a popsicle.
But anyway, New York isn't all bad. And I must have wanted to come here for a reason, right? Right. And I did. And now I'm here and I see that it is fine but not wonderful and that's fine but after this round I want to try a new place. I don't imagine that I wont stick it out for the 4 years, but I can't imagine sticking around after that.
Also. I have a hard time with new things. I said that in the last entry right? I discovered that my greatest fear is of new things in all shapes and sizes. Maybe that's linked to a fear of failure, because they always say everyone's greatest fear is failure (or maybe they don't, but I'm allowed to make things up, this is MY blog, after all). Like I said. Fear of new things. A fear of doing them imperfectly because I don't know how to do them. Or sometimes, just a fear of getting lost because I don't know where I'm going. So. When I first get to a new thing, like a new semester, it sucks. Why? Because it's a million new things all at once. But it's not like when I came to New York. I wasn't scared of New York or coming here. It's a strange distinction. I was scared of the subway and of making new friends and of crazy projects in new classes. But not of New York. You following? It's okay if you're not. So anyway, I am in a new semester. At the new part of that new semester. Right? So. Scary.
Basically I just need to re-settle in ever time. Especially since my break was so wonderful. And it was a whole month long. So I got used to it, being comfortable and relaxed and having no obligations. (It also went by really quickly but that's a whole other story. I actually got back here the first night and found myself in Tudor's room sitting on the same chair facing him sitting on the same chair in the same way at night just like we'd been the night before we both left. It was some crazy real dejavu, and it felt like I never left. But anyway.) So, this week I am more settled. That's why I didn't really want to write last week because I was kinda freaking out. I was scared of my new teacher and classes and, as always, the sheer number of classes, and of having three early mornings in a row (last semester I had 3 early mornings total, alternating, this year I have 4 total. Last year too, I had 3 total. I need my sleep, I really do, or I'm a mess. Over break I got beautiful amounts of sleep. As much as my heart desired!) Of course this simply means I have to get to bed sooner, but what if I can't? Yada yada...
So there was no true recognition of this semester yet, I really couldn't accurately asses what is going on because I know my judgment is not accurate when it is feeling the new. Logically, I know how it should be, but intuitively, I think AHHHHHHHHH (to use technical terms).
Now. The second week doesn't quite asses it entirely accurately either, but it does a much better job. And the second week is saying, "whew, okay. Not so bad." So that's where I'm at. This week is telling me that this semester is going to go much more smoothly than I of course thought the firt week. And no one is surprised that this is the analysis. Yet, I still don't think I can give a full description of how I think it will really go until the third week. Which I plan on doing.
However. I will give you what I know.
3-D is now all day on Mondays. I like this better because it gets it over with, but I also still find 3-D to be very bland and a very long waste of a day. I did, however, have this past Monday off, which was wonderful. I have the same teacher, so it's the same deal. Easy and he's nice and he likes me. I'll get through it. I almost shouldn't bother mentioning anymore because it actually serves no purpose in my life to the good side or the bad. It just kind of is. It fills some time. Unfortunately.
World Civ. is the same teacher but now Tuesday mornings. This is fine, but also sleepy. Actually, my description of 3-D pretty much fits this class too, except that it is a lecture, so I have the added trouble of staying awake.
Political Philosophy. Now here's something exciting! I have this class Tuesday afternoons. That is a lot of sitting on m ass and taking notes and not falling asleep for one day. Which is why going to be earlier is key. But my teacher seems fantastic! I was worried about not understanding, because the readings are really tough, but he is so clear and so good about explaining that I understand everything, and it's a lot he's throwing at us! I'm really excited to have a philosophy course and he seems really knowledgeable and I heard he was a good teacher and I'm just really excited to learn and for a challenge! Finally. I've been missing those liberal arts challenges... So our whole grade is based upon 3 essays. The first is 5 pages, the second is 7, the last is 10. Approximately. It'll be great to be able to have room to write so much, and to learn to write longer essays. I kill at 5 pages. Not so hot on 2 because that is NOT enough room, but I still get A's. But I haven't really tried a 10, let alone on philosophy! And we have readings every week that really don't make much sense and I'm really excited about it! Haha, no I'm not being sarcastic :)
Color Photo. This class is now Wednesday morning. I was scared of my teacher, but after today I;m less scared. She seems like she has a lot to teach. We have a lot of work to do and new work due every week, but she's going to push us to keep at it. And hey, I am a photo major right? I can't complain about a lot of photo work. Plus this is the semester to really get my color work down. Last semester was just learning, yeah? And the class dynamic seems good. The people in the class seem to all be fine so far. I do need to start thinking about what my project is going to be though, because I refuse to do nature photography of dead trees. I forgot that it's winter here. So no landscapes at least until spring starts to come. But that might be a good thing because then I can force myself to do something new that I haven't done before. It'll be good, I just have to think of what. And our first assignment was interesting because we had to do a test, either between film or paper. I did mine between two different kinds of kodak paper, and I actually found out that I like one more than the other and originally I thought the other one was the one I should get. Now I know if I want my pictures a certain way, I have a choice. And other people's projects were very informative too. Everyone learned from all of them. That was the point.
Studio Photo. This class is Wednesday afternoon. (Can you see how I might be exhausted by Wednesday?) We wont have an actually assignment for another 2 weeks, but she is showing us SO MUCH about studio photography it is incredible! Because I know none of it and she knows so much and it's just wonderful! I am going to learn go much from this class and I'm really excited to get into portraits and still lives, something I haven't been able to explore yet! I was nervous about being able to handle the class, like with color, but I think she's so good at teaching that I'll know exactly what to do and I'll be just fine :)
Yoga. Same time same teacher. Except that I'm not technically signed up for the class. I Hope to be, but otherwise I think she'll let me stay on anyways. I would like the credit, however. But I love yoga and I love my teacher!
Thursdays. My day off. WHEW. This day is intended for taking pictures. Going out and getting it done so that I don't have to worry about it on the weekend and just be able to print. This will change when I have to shoot for studio as well. And this week it is different because me and Susanna usually go out together, but she can't tomorrow so we'll go Saturday instead. It may also change due to my decision on a project, it may not ebing gong out, it may be renting a studio at school. Whatever it is. I will be SLEEPING IN.
Art History. Same teacher, earlier time. Different class though because it's modern art history, aka 1900s onward. And in my particular opinion, blech (this is also a technical term.) Of course I need to know it and of course I want to know it, but I really think it's crap. Really. I think what a lot of the artists were trying to do, their ideas and such, were brilliant ideas and innovations! But what they actually created? It horrible to look at! And I'm sorry, but first and fore most, I need to want to look at it. THEN I can delve into it's deeper meaning. So we'll see how it goes. I doubt I'll do the reading... though I know I should... My teacher's still a sweet old man though! Yay :)
Advanced Black and White Printing is on Friday afternoons. Yup, I got a freakin full week. My teacher seems really cool, though I've only had him for one class so far. He's the only black faculty I've seen, which is simply an interesting thing. Of course, besides the point. He seems very knowledgeable and like a pretty decent teacher and guy. I am SO EXCITED for this class because I really do like black and white better than color. Maybe I just need more practice with color, and maybe I just have different styles for the two and I haven't found my "color style" yet, but still. I prefer printing black and white and the outcome of my pictures. So this class is going to be all about darkroom techniques! Different chemistry, tricks, how to make negatives better, prints better, EVERYTHING! (Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it!) We will be making extra super awesome perfect prints. Period. We don't have to shoot anything, it's a printing class! What a relief. Because shooting for three classes last year was really hard! So this semester I only have two to shoot for. It's a great class to end the week with.
So my week starts intense, but ends more smoothly, which is good. I still have JSU on Tuesday at lunch which I will still be baking for (yay!) and I still will be going to Friday night dinners! No more yoga on Saturday mornings, that was just annoying and yoga is supposed to be relaxing. I dunno what's up with SDS. I will tell you when I know.
But anyway. So there's the first installment. I still need to write about friends, food and exercise, and probably some other random things. But I have to get to Yoga!
hope you enjoyed. Toodles!
posted by Bonnie at 6:15 PM
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